Monday, November 3, 2014

Finding the Motivation to Succeed

Getting inspired to start something is very easy to do; the hard part comes when you need to stay motivated weeks later when the doubt starts to creep in.

The first object I want to tackle on my road to success is motivation. This is the most important thing on my list of discontent because without the motivation to keep going I always end up quitting. I set goals and make to-do lists but I always end up procrastinating and I don’t follow through. We all are faced with obstacles but it is how we deal with these obstacles that defines us and sets us apart. Overcoming obstacles determines who we are and how successful we become.

The biggest obstacle we need to overcome is our emotions. The feelings of doubt, desperation, fear, and self-pity, all lead to a debilitating depression that keeps us from reaching our goals. The problem is that feelings are a fundamental and unavoidable part of being human. How does one go against human nature? I have been searching the web for tactics and methods, to overcoming this and get motivated, and I came across a few techniques that might help stay motivated.
When trying to stay motivated it’s a good idea to try many things, almost as insurance, so I have listed several ways below:

Get Positive

The number one reason we procrastinate is because were in a bad mood. So essentially if we do things to make us happy we can increase our productivity. A good example I came across is with the military. What do they teach the recruits to mentally toughen them up? Optimism. So the key is to find ways to become positive and increase optimism. Building a positive attitude can happen many ways. Here are some examples:

-          Try listing the positive outcomes to achieving the task. Think about what you need to accomplish and visualize the benefits of accomplishing them. When you can list a few, try writing them down so you can come back to them when you need a reminder.

-          Try to think about the part of the task that you enjoy the most. Think about how you felt when you first came up with the idea. Chances are you were inspired because it sounded like a fun idea. So when doing the mundane parts, try to visualize the reason for embarking on this task.

-          Don’t compare yourself to others. You might come up with an idea you thought was awesome, but then you see someone else doing it and they seem to be doing it way better. You are a unique person and just because someone else is doing something similar doesn’t mean you will be the same. When doing your task try to ignore others and put your own personality and twist into it. Coke and Pepsi are practically the same thing but when you drink them you can still taste the difference. Or maybe not, but you get what I’m saying. Just because someone is awesome at doing something doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement. Believe that you are more than enough.

-          Smile. Smiling is proven to keep you happier when you are down. It‘s almost as if it’s a trigger to release endorphins. Smiling is infectious and if people see you smiling chances are they will start smiling too.

Reward Yourself

I know this reeks of how a dog gets rewarded with treats when they perform a trick but who cares. We respond to rewards. Rewards feel good. There is no reason why you should sit around waiting for someone else to reward you with a pat on the back, do it yourself. Have a drink to your success. A good way to do this is to set attainable milestones and add a reward for when you reach it. Ways to do this can be:

-          Take yourself out to eat
-          Do a victory dance to your favorite song
-          Take a field trip
-          Retail therapy (not a huge shopping spree)
-          Buy yourself flowers/chocolates
-          A night on the town

These rewards don’t have to be expensive or major but you know what you want and what you are willing to work for.

Peer Pressure

When you think of peer pressure you might think of teenagers being pressured to do something they are reluctant to do. But peer pressure can be a good thing if implemented properly. Putting yourself in a position where you feel pressured to succeed is using a negative to create a positive. Ways to create positive peer pressure:

-          Surround yourself with people you want to be or people that inspire you. This makes succeeding much easier. It almost becomes a competition to complete the task.

-          Announce your task to other people. Announcing to your friends and family on social media will put you in a position to where you don’t want to look like a liar if you don’t follow through. The need to prove yourself and impress kicks in and you are propelled forward. Plus if they know what you have planned they might give you words of encouragement.

Physically feeling good

      It is hard to get motivated when you feel dirty and tired. Try doing the simple things to yourself that put you in a good mood.

-          Try taking a shower and brushing your teeth
-          Get some caffeine by starting a pot of coffee or put a tea kettle on the stove
-          Eat something, preferably healthy to give you a boost
-          Try taking a brisk walk to get the blood flowing

Avoid Procrastination

     Turn off all methods of procrastination like Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, other social media sites, and the TV. Lock yourself in a room and sit yourself down with the mindset of getting your work done. Another way to avoid this is the reserve this block of time beforehand. If you schedule yourself from 8-10 to work on your task and nothing else it will help you get into the frame of mind to work and not play. Maybe figure out the time of day when you are most focused and productive and schedule your tasks then.

Motivational Art

-          Try finding a motivational picture or quote and stick it on the wall next to your workspace. Have something plainly visible to refer to when you need motivation. 

-          Another thing you can do is to play your favorite music. Listening to enjoyable music tends to amp us up and put us in a mood to do something.

-          Sometimes tweaking the fung shui in your workspace helps.  Maybe paint your office a loud color or posting pictures all over the walls to put yourself in a good mood.

-          Maybe create a motivational video to watch whenever you need to remind yourself you can do it.


These are a few of the countless ways someone can get motivated and inspired to do something. Maybe some of these will work for you and that’s great, but for those who need something more you need to think of the moments in your day that you are really productive and analyse what you did to become productive.


If you have experienced this before and figured out a way to combat it feel free to add to the list by commenting below. 

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Discovering the Cause of My Ordinary Life

Have you ever tried to solve your problems but gave up because your problems seemed too complex?

I believe the best way to start solving your problems are to go to the root of the issue.
Where my problem solving journey begins can best be described by Albert Einstein:
“If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.” 

Figuring out the problem is a difficult task that requires a lot of reflection. I have searched the web for brainstorming ideas, quizzes, or other ideas on how to better get to the root of my discontent, but unfortunately I cannot seem to locate any. To help organize my thoughts I did a simple technique I learned in grammar school called a Spider Diagram. I started my web by placing the word discontent in the middle and thought of the aspects of my life that are contributing to my melancholy.

Below is a picture of my web:

After identifying my problem areas I wrote descriptions as to why they have become problems:

Physically Unfit -- As a whole I am fairly comfortable in my own skin and do not see myself as having any problem areas. I participated in many sports from my early childhood through high school so I was always in shape. Since graduating high school eight years ago, I only continued with Softball which does not give me much exercise. Due to lack of exercise I see my softball skills suffering. I used to be a great outfielder and now I cannot make half the catches I used to. You might say this is what happens when you get older, but I am only 26 and I have teammates 10 years older than me making those very catches. I find myself gasping for air after climbing a flight of stairs and this bothers me. I end up taking an elevator because I hate being out of breathe from the exertion. This makes me feel guilty for taking a shortcut.

Appearance-- In the past two years I was pregnant twice and had two beautiful babies. During the pregnancies I would dress in yoga pants and any loose fitting comfortable clothing. Since giving birth in March this has not changed. I am back at work and still dressing down. My eyebrows and nails are a mess and my hair is in desperate need of a cut. I cannot find the motivation to tend to myself and my needs, and it is affecting my attitude. I dress lazy and my attitude is lazy.

Horrible Diet – Looking back on my life I don’t think I ever had a good diet. My mother cooks healthy food for me but when I am on my own I throw all discretion out the window. It is to the point where I get so wrapped up in my daily to do list that I either forget to eat, grab quick snacks which tend to be junk food, or get fast food. This has become a problem because it reflects in the meals I prepare for my children. I do not cook or have much experience in preparing healthy meals and they are the ones suffering. It is also a problem because our energy level is dependent on the fuel we feed ourselves, so it goes without saying that I have no energy.

No Energy – This is a combination of three problems and I wanted to add it because it is a major road block for me. It affects my physical self, it affects my attitude and the type of mood I am in, and lastly it affects the way I think. The obvious solution to this would be to eat healthy and get enough sleep and exercise, but I feel that this problem is partially rooted in my mind. When you get home from a long day and plant yourself on the couch it is hard to find the energy to get up and do anything. This is not necessarily because I am physically tired but my mind is telling me that I am too tired to get up. It will be a glorious and life changing day when I can throw these thoughts aside and be productive for several more hours.
No time – My weekday consists of:
·         Wake up at 6AM
·         Throw myself and 2 children together (Includes making breakfast and packing lunch etc.)
·         Leave my house by 7AM for a 1.5 hour commute (Stopping only to drop them off at daycare)
·         Work from 8:30AM until 5:30PM
·         Arrive home between 6:30-7PM
·         Supply snacks, drinks, and bottles, and give both children baths etc.
·         Have the children in bed by 8:30-9PM (If I am lucky)
·         Steal 1.5-2 hours for myself before going to bed by 10:30-11PM
Note: In order to get 7 hours of sleep, to survive the next day, I need to be in bed by 11PM.
The only time I get for myself are an hour for lunch and the 2 hours before bed. Three hours is not much time to accomplish anything so I normally end up spending it scrolling through social media and looking at mindless propaganda. This is a problem because it is not enough time to recharge my batteries and unwind so it leaves me cranky quite often. This is, in turn, affecting my relationship with my children. I don’t want to be the mother who comes home from work and is in a sour mood. In addition, to go from being a student to working and being a full time parent, it left me no time to discover things about myself and new hobbies I will enjoy. There was no time to goof around.

Good at a lot of things but not great at many aka “Jack of all trades, master of none”– This is a big problem for me and it can be summed up in the word “confidence.” In high school and college I received mediocre grades, at sports I was good enough for recreation but not for college or club, at work I am good at my job but I feel like I am surrounded by superstars so there is likely no chance in hell I will be promoted. Going from being a student to having a career and family it left no time to become a pro at anything. This is a problem because I do not have the confidence and dexterity to truly enjoy anything as a hobby or to pursue anything as a career.

Lack of Motivation – This one seems self-explanatory but for me it has a different meaning. I get excited about something, start it up, but within a short period of time I lose interest or make excuses and end up quitting. I can never find the motivation to “Just keep swimming” as Dori says it. The most obvious of these is starting a new workout or diet. This is a big problem because I never complete anything. I don’t cross the finish line and receive my medal. The thought of all those things I have quit in my life is depressing and this, in turn, affects me deeply.

Impatient – This is a big issue for me and essentially affects every category listed above. I am a results driven person and when the results do not appear instantly I get anxious and stressed. I am the type of person that sends out a text or email and constantly refreshes in hopes I will find a reply. This is a problem for me because I do not have the patience to take on anything with a long expected lifespan.

Frustrated and Angry – This problem is a product of everything above. I am unhappy in my current situation and I know I deserve better. I constantly let myself down and it puts me in a depression. As my frustration builds it turns me into an angry person and it affects the relationships around me and the way I conduct myself. I get so angry that I just want to burst out crying or throw something. This is a problem because I know I am better than this behavior. I know that deep down I am a gentle and loving person and that is how I want people to know me.

This has been a very emotional post to write but it has helped me get a better understanding of why I am in the position I am in. In the posts to follow I will try to address each problem and it will be a trial and error of discovering what will make me into an extraordinary person.

For those who want to do this:
Instructions:
·         --Create a web diagram for the basic issues that plague you and that leave you feeling discontent.
·         --Write a paragraph or so describing why these issues affect you and why they are a problem.
Materials needed: Pen and Paper

After you have completed your task feel free to share your results with me. You can post your webs and descriptions and tag them #LOSBrainstorm. If you do not want to make your web public but want to share it with me, feel free to email me at LegacyofSaba@Gmail.com.


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

About



Ever wake up in the morning and not want to get out of bed because of what awaits you?

My name is Emily Sabater and I am on a journey to transform my life from an ordinary life into an extraordinary life.

I am writing for those who are dissatisfied with their lifestyle and who want to explore new realms of possibilities.

Growing up I had a very fulfilling childhood because I was given the freedom to explore and enjoy my younger years.  In high school, I was unsure of what I wanted to do when I graduated, but I miraculously chose the path to a great career. In college, I studied Accounting and Finance and shortly after graduation I landed a well-paying job with great benefits.  After college I started a family and had two beautiful children.  I was successful in creating a good life.

 With all my seemingly fortunate circumstances, you might wonder why I am discontent. The number one concern that plagues me is that I feel like I am only good at certain things, but not great.  My life is good but not great.

 I have this churning feeling inside like I have the potential for better. I am tired of being full of millions of great ideas but having nothing to show for them. The question I constantly ask myself is “Where do I begin?” I have googled this question and what results are a million websites and an overwhelming amount of information.  To find time to sift through this barrage of information, with a full-time job and two children to take care of, seems impossible. But what is worse is waking up years from now and wondering what value I got from this short time I was given.


Today is where I begin my journey. I will start out slowly by doing some soul searching and graduate towards implementing a game plan. I invite you to join me and hopefully we can find liberation together.

Introduction to Turning My Life Around


Do you ever scroll through social media looking at your friends and family’s status updates, wishing you had interesting things to post or generally had as much fun as them?
I find myself spending hours looking through Facebook and Youtube, reading about all of the awesome and fun things everyone else is doing, rather than going out and doing them myself. I watch cool Youtube videos of people trying new things and pursuing their dreams, yet when I look at my own dreams they have not even been attempted.

Stopping the Nonsense
I am tired of waking up in the morning and dreading the day ahead of me. There are countless things I would like to try, places I want to travel to, and dreams I would like to pursue. I do not want to look back on my life and think about all of the risks I should have taken and the opportunities I should have seized. You hear elderly people say all the time that if they were given another chance knowing what they know, that they would have done so much more with their lives. I am only 26, but I already feel my body slowing down and my youth slowly fading, and it scares me to think that I have hardly lived.

Why Take the Risk?
The phrase “You Only Live Once,” aka YOLO, has gotten a lot of bad attention because you see videos of people doing reckless things and risking their lives for a quick thrill while yelling out “YOLO”. But what about those opportunities you were faced with that seemed simple and inconsequential at the time but you realized later it could have been the best decision of your life. Like that girl you see across the street that you catch eyes with but did not have the courage to go talk to. Or the job opportunity you were offered in a different state or country that would have taken you out of your comfort zone and into a new perspective. We are scared to take risks because of the unknown but it is those very risks that could turn into the best decisions we ever made.

Taking the Risk
I sit at my desk every day and wonder at the possibilities and the fun I could have if I stepped out of my comfort zone and threw embarrassment to the side. I live in my shell and comfortable life and envy those who have the courage to act out of character.
So here starts my epic journey. Epic for me because let’s face it, it’s my life and it’s me who is at stake. I want to explore all the areas of my life where I am discontent and unhappy and try to flip it around so that I can look back and only see good times. I will create videos and post pictures, link to hashtags and document my progress over social media. I want to create the lifestyle I see so many others living.

Invitation to the Masses
I invite anyone to join me and to help inspire others to do the same. This is the “Turning an Ordinary Life into an Extraordinary life” Blog and I hope you’ll follow me on my quest.

Follow me on:
Twitter: @LegacyofSaba

YouTube: LegacyofSaba