Have
you ever tried to solve your problems but gave up because your problems seemed
too complex?
I
believe the best way to start solving your problems are to go to the root of
the issue.
Where
my problem solving journey begins can best be described by Albert Einstein:
“If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend
55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.”
Figuring out the problem is a difficult task that
requires a lot of reflection. I have searched the web for brainstorming ideas,
quizzes, or other ideas on how to better get to the root of my discontent, but
unfortunately I cannot seem to locate any. To help organize my thoughts I did a
simple technique I learned in grammar school called a Spider Diagram. I started
my web by placing the word discontent in the middle and thought of the aspects
of my life that are contributing to my melancholy.
Below is a picture of
my web:
After identifying my
problem areas I wrote descriptions as to why they have become problems:
Physically Unfit -- As
a whole I am fairly comfortable in my own skin and do not see myself as having
any problem areas. I participated in many sports from my early childhood through
high school so I was always in shape. Since graduating high school eight years
ago, I only continued with Softball which does not give me much exercise. Due
to lack of exercise I see my softball skills suffering. I used to be a great
outfielder and now I cannot make half the catches I used to. You might say this
is what happens when you get older, but I am only 26 and I have teammates 10
years older than me making those very catches. I find myself gasping for air
after climbing a flight of stairs and this bothers me. I end up taking an
elevator because I hate being out of breathe from the exertion. This makes me
feel guilty for taking a shortcut.
Appearance-- In the
past two years I was pregnant twice and had two beautiful babies. During the
pregnancies I would dress in yoga pants and any loose fitting comfortable
clothing. Since giving birth in March this has not changed. I am back at work
and still dressing down. My eyebrows and nails are a mess and my hair is in
desperate need of a cut. I cannot find the motivation to tend to myself and my
needs, and it is affecting my attitude. I dress lazy and my attitude is lazy.
Horrible Diet –
Looking back on my life I don’t think I ever had a good diet. My mother cooks
healthy food for me but when I am on my own I throw all discretion out the
window. It is to the point where I get so wrapped up in my daily to do list that
I either forget to eat, grab quick snacks which tend to be junk food, or get
fast food. This has become a problem because it reflects in the meals I prepare
for my children. I do not cook or have much experience in preparing healthy
meals and they are the ones suffering. It is also a problem because our energy
level is dependent on the fuel we feed ourselves, so it goes without saying
that I have no energy.
No Energy – This is a
combination of three problems and I wanted to add it because it is a major road
block for me. It affects my physical self, it affects my attitude and the type
of mood I am in, and lastly it affects the way I think. The obvious solution to
this would be to eat healthy and get enough sleep and exercise, but I feel that
this problem is partially rooted in my mind. When you get home from a long day
and plant yourself on the couch it is hard to find the energy to get up and do
anything. This is not necessarily because I am physically tired but my mind is
telling me that I am too tired to get up. It will be a glorious and life
changing day when I can throw these thoughts aside and be productive for
several more hours.
No time – My weekday consists of:
·
Wake up
at 6AM
·
Throw
myself and 2 children together (Includes making breakfast and packing lunch
etc.)
·
Leave my
house by 7AM for a 1.5 hour commute (Stopping only to drop them off at daycare)
·
Work from
8:30AM until 5:30PM
·
Arrive
home between 6:30-7PM
·
Supply
snacks, drinks, and bottles, and give both children baths etc.
·
Have the
children in bed by 8:30-9PM (If I am lucky)
·
Steal
1.5-2 hours for myself before going to bed by 10:30-11PM
Note: In order to get 7 hours of sleep, to
survive the next day, I need to be in bed by 11PM.
The only time I get for myself are an hour for
lunch and the 2 hours before bed. Three hours is not much time to accomplish
anything so I normally end up spending it scrolling through social media and
looking at mindless propaganda. This is a problem because it is not enough time
to recharge my batteries and unwind so it leaves me cranky quite often. This is,
in turn, affecting my relationship with my children. I don’t want to be the
mother who comes home from work and is in a sour mood. In addition, to go from
being a student to working and being a full time parent, it left me no time to
discover things about myself and new hobbies I will enjoy. There was no time to
goof around.
Good at a lot of things but not great at many
aka “Jack of all trades, master of none”– This is a big problem for me and it
can be summed up in the word “confidence.” In high school and college I
received mediocre grades, at sports I was good enough for recreation but not
for college or club, at work I am good at my job but I feel like I am
surrounded by superstars so there is likely no chance in hell I will be
promoted. Going from being a student to having a career and family it left no
time to become a pro at anything. This is a problem because I do not have the
confidence and dexterity to truly enjoy anything as a hobby or to pursue
anything as a career.
Lack of Motivation – This one seems
self-explanatory but for me it has a different meaning. I get excited about
something, start it up, but within a short period of time I lose interest or
make excuses and end up quitting. I can never find the motivation to “Just keep
swimming” as Dori says it. The most obvious of these is starting a new workout
or diet. This is a big problem because I never complete anything. I don’t cross
the finish line and receive my medal. The thought of all those things I have
quit in my life is depressing and this, in turn, affects me deeply.
Impatient – This is a big issue for me and
essentially affects every category listed above. I am a results driven person
and when the results do not appear instantly I get anxious and stressed. I am
the type of person that sends out a text or email and constantly refreshes in
hopes I will find a reply. This is a problem for me because I do not have the
patience to take on anything with a long expected lifespan.
Frustrated and Angry – This problem is a
product of everything above. I am unhappy in my current situation and I know I
deserve better. I constantly let myself down and it puts me in a depression. As
my frustration builds it turns me into an angry person and it affects the
relationships around me and the way I conduct myself. I get so angry that I
just want to burst out crying or throw something. This is a problem because I
know I am better than this behavior. I know that deep down I am a gentle and
loving person and that is how I want people to know me.
This has been a very emotional post to write
but it has helped me get a better understanding of why I am in the position I
am in. In the posts to follow I will try to address each problem and it will be
a trial and error of discovering what will make me into an extraordinary
person.
For those who want to do this:
Instructions:
· --Create a
web diagram for the basic issues that plague you and that leave you feeling
discontent.
· --Write a
paragraph or so describing why these issues affect you and why they are a
problem.
Materials needed: Pen and Paper
After you have completed your task feel free to
share your results with me. You can post your webs and descriptions and tag
them #LOSBrainstorm. If you do not want to make your web public but want to
share it with me, feel free to email me at LegacyofSaba@Gmail.com.
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